Medical Investigation - Worst TV Show Ever?
NBC.com > Medical Investigation
1 hour. Not a long time, really. Enough time to cook a sheperds pie, play the first half and half time of a football match. But not enough time to be concerned about losing. Unless you've spent an hour watching Medical Investigation on Channel 5, which is truly, truly wank.
I decided to watch it cos the fella with the grey hair was quite good in The Shield as a lawyer or something. And The Shield is good.
This isn't.
The premise would seem to be that the people in it are to Doctors what CSI are to cops, i.e. "you Mr Plods are too fucking thick to figure this out, so we'll come in and do it for you. Get me a donut, fat boy."
It started off not too badly, save for some dogshit acting that would be frowned upon in Neighbours. A load of kids in the same town are all coming down with the same illness, and some have died. Oh no! Whinging tart tries to convince her boss that they've got to go there. He agrees to, dropping all the other sick people cases they've got going on.
So they head up to this town, find these sick kids, then start looking for (investigating, I guess) reasons why they might all be ill. Maybe it's the evil local chemical company that supplies most of the town's jobs.
Predictable shit #1: They investigate the chemical company, their car gets smashed up by the locals. Shock and fucking horror.
So then they find out that one of the sick kids got sick while living in a different town. They find this out while on one location. 3 scenes later, they finally get around to saying something about it to the rest of the team! Not like it was important or anything, you fucking mong-bags!
So they do some further digging, this is around 30 minutes in. Wow. All the kids were born by IVF treatment at the same clinic due to their fathers' firing blanks. But that can't explain why they're all suffering from this mystery illness, can it?
OF COURSE IT FUCKING CAN! The IVF doctor got her husband to shoot his load into the test tubes rather than the real jaffa-dads! Jesus, it's not that fucking complicated you retarded wank-jobs!
That was at 30 minutes in. 30 minutes later they figure it out. 30 fucking minutes. Of my life. Wasted.
Even better though, they find this out and there's lots of "oh, the nasty IVF doctor" type comments. Then the investigators go "the spunk-donor must have had some kind of genetic disease. That's the cause.".
And then they fucked off back to their own town.
Without actually curing any of the kids.
They literally just came to the spunk-contamination conclusion then made no effort to actually diagnose the illness - they just got back in their car and left. Case closed.
Well, not really, cos all the kids are going to die you twats.
I will never waste an hour of my life on that shit ever again.
1 hour. Not a long time, really. Enough time to cook a sheperds pie, play the first half and half time of a football match. But not enough time to be concerned about losing. Unless you've spent an hour watching Medical Investigation on Channel 5, which is truly, truly wank.
I decided to watch it cos the fella with the grey hair was quite good in The Shield as a lawyer or something. And The Shield is good.
This isn't.
The premise would seem to be that the people in it are to Doctors what CSI are to cops, i.e. "you Mr Plods are too fucking thick to figure this out, so we'll come in and do it for you. Get me a donut, fat boy."
It started off not too badly, save for some dogshit acting that would be frowned upon in Neighbours. A load of kids in the same town are all coming down with the same illness, and some have died. Oh no! Whinging tart tries to convince her boss that they've got to go there. He agrees to, dropping all the other sick people cases they've got going on.
So they head up to this town, find these sick kids, then start looking for (investigating, I guess) reasons why they might all be ill. Maybe it's the evil local chemical company that supplies most of the town's jobs.
Predictable shit #1: They investigate the chemical company, their car gets smashed up by the locals. Shock and fucking horror.
So then they find out that one of the sick kids got sick while living in a different town. They find this out while on one location. 3 scenes later, they finally get around to saying something about it to the rest of the team! Not like it was important or anything, you fucking mong-bags!
So they do some further digging, this is around 30 minutes in. Wow. All the kids were born by IVF treatment at the same clinic due to their fathers' firing blanks. But that can't explain why they're all suffering from this mystery illness, can it?
OF COURSE IT FUCKING CAN! The IVF doctor got her husband to shoot his load into the test tubes rather than the real jaffa-dads! Jesus, it's not that fucking complicated you retarded wank-jobs!
That was at 30 minutes in. 30 minutes later they figure it out. 30 fucking minutes. Of my life. Wasted.
Even better though, they find this out and there's lots of "oh, the nasty IVF doctor" type comments. Then the investigators go "the spunk-donor must have had some kind of genetic disease. That's the cause.".
And then they fucked off back to their own town.
Without actually curing any of the kids.
They literally just came to the spunk-contamination conclusion then made no effort to actually diagnose the illness - they just got back in their car and left. Case closed.
Well, not really, cos all the kids are going to die you twats.
I will never waste an hour of my life on that shit ever again.
posted by Paul C at 8:50 AM
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